Friday, 2 April 2010

Mad As A March Hare


So much has happened since I last wrote here...

Who am I kidding? I have done virtually nothing of interest.

Got a year older.
Saw Kelly Clarkson for the second time.
Saw Mika in one of the strangest live shows I have ever been to.
Drunk too much on too many occasions.
Watched Invictus.
Met a male model.
Been on strike for 3 days.

The Winter Olympics, eh?

Slightly bizarre viewing experience at times - who knew that was the snowboard giant slalom going on amongst all that fog?

Watched the closing ceremony and some guy in a suit made a speech praising the Games and all that jazz, then repeated parts of the speech in French so totally Godawful, even I was offended. And I comfortably speak the French of a 5 or 6 year old child.Even if he had spoken the words in English with a comedy French accent, I doubt they would have sounded as bad as they did.

My favourite athletes? Kasper Kokk and Andreas Wank, obv.

BBC commentary was bizarre at times - Steve Cram, one of the world's greatest middle distance runners, commentating on curling and Sue Barker, twice French Open champion, commentating on figure skating/ice dancing/whatever.

BBC commentary was over excited at other times - the absolutely awful ice hockey commentary being a case in point. Sidney Crosby won the gold for "Canadia" apparently.

Most disturbing event? The double luge.

Most disturbing commentary? The double luge. "And the Austrian pair have got one hand and four fingers on the gold medal." Where is the other finger? On second thoughts, don't answer that ....

Curling gets waaaaay too much TV time.

The snowboard halfpipe was won by a ginger cocker spaniel.

Olympic fact: 95% of all snowboarders are called Nate.

Snowboard and skicross and short track speed skating are awesome to watch.

According to an ad that has just been on TV, 77% of all women feel sexier when their underarms look good. Who has ever even thought about that? And what is the purpose of such 'scientific' research? Advertising, it goes without saying, is the art of talking balls.

Films to go and see:
Invictus
Green Zone

Films to avoid:
Shutter Island
Alice In Wonderland

Talking to an 88 year old woman at work, she said that chatting with me was "more interesting than watching Poirot".
I misheard this as being more interesting than watching porno. Cue me asking her if she lived next door.

On 6th April, I will have had my real world, responsible job for 1 year. Who saw that one coming? Not me. Get a performance bonus - basically for showing up every day, occasionally on time - so thank you taxpayers! This should make up for the fact that our pay rise is 1% *rips Che Guevara beret from head in disgust*.

I was told in my appraisal that I had "so much potential" but that I was not willing to use it and that I was "hiding my light under a bushel". Why would I waste my "potential" on the British public? They are idiots.

Number of the day: 47
The number of days until I will be in New York City.
Dreaded number of the day: 72
The number of days until I will be flying back to Manchester from Miami.

4 comments:

EHisCDN said...

I'm so glad you posted again! (It was a hilarious post at that).

So much to comment on...
did you watch the Olympic gold medal hockey game? All I did was watch the Olympics. I literally stayed at home all day glued to the tv. I bored everyone in my house with random Olympic facts and stats and stories...I was told to be quiet on various occasions. I was also absolutely obsessed with men's hockey and curling (hence why I didn't think there was too much curling coverage...).

John Furlong was the guy who made the speech and the french was actually different from the english part. He was the man who put the bid in for the olympics to be in Vancouver. He is actually Irish but immigrated to Canada at like 18.

uhhm that stat about women and their underarms is a little creepy. Anyone else feel that way?

of the films you mentioned I have only seen Alice in Wonderland, which I was dragged to by my younger sister. I didn't think it was that bad, but that's because my expectations were that it would be the worst movie I would ever see.

So are you going on some American trip?

Oh, btw what was with the London papers completely laying into the Vancouver Olympics? I thought they were great! I thought the closing ceremony was hilarious, I mean inflated beavers and moose are just the icing on the cake when you consider that Michael Buble is one of my favourite artists.

Jess said...

@EHisCDN:
I'm back :D

Curling is just awful. I'm sorry, but it is. Those pants the Norwegians wore were the best part of it.

I found myself watching random events [Most of which seemed to be some variation of cross country skiing. Wtf.] but I just can't get into it like the other, dare I say proper, Olympics [;)]

It did reinforce my theory - unscientifc as it is - that what we really need is the Drug Olympics where every athlete is on as much gear as possible and is juiced up to the eyeballs. Sure, there will probably be some deaths. But it would make great TV.

The media here all said that it was the worst Olympics ever - the weather was bad, dude died, things were poorly organised.

I say just wait until 2012, we'll show you how a poorly organised expensive disaster is really done!

And yes, I am having me a little holiday to the USofA, so I can forget about my boring real life for a few weeks and so people will, for once, be impressed by my accent. Lolz.

Val said...

Have I told you lately that I love you? Have missed your pov for awhile.

I'm with EHisCDN - the men's hockey and curling were completely addicting. Curling? Who knew? Inflated beavers? So many different ways a girl could go with that!

Any 88 year old woman who can remember Poiret is a friend of mine, and any young woman such as yourself that confuses it with the word porno is one of my friends for life, lol.

Are you making your way to Chicago at all on your trip? If so, please let me know as I would make arrangements to meet up with you either there or in Milwaukee/Madison/Wisconsin area.

Post when you can and know you are missed. Love to you, toots!

Jess said...

@ Val - Nashville will probably be as close as it gets. So not very close then!

Would love to go to Madison at some point though - looks a very laidback type of town. I drove through a lot of Wisconsin en route to Chicago.

And I am a massive fan of cheese ... :)