Friday, 2 April 2010

Mad As A March Hare


So much has happened since I last wrote here...

Who am I kidding? I have done virtually nothing of interest.

Got a year older.
Saw Kelly Clarkson for the second time.
Saw Mika in one of the strangest live shows I have ever been to.
Drunk too much on too many occasions.
Watched Invictus.
Met a male model.
Been on strike for 3 days.

The Winter Olympics, eh?

Slightly bizarre viewing experience at times - who knew that was the snowboard giant slalom going on amongst all that fog?

Watched the closing ceremony and some guy in a suit made a speech praising the Games and all that jazz, then repeated parts of the speech in French so totally Godawful, even I was offended. And I comfortably speak the French of a 5 or 6 year old child.Even if he had spoken the words in English with a comedy French accent, I doubt they would have sounded as bad as they did.

My favourite athletes? Kasper Kokk and Andreas Wank, obv.

BBC commentary was bizarre at times - Steve Cram, one of the world's greatest middle distance runners, commentating on curling and Sue Barker, twice French Open champion, commentating on figure skating/ice dancing/whatever.

BBC commentary was over excited at other times - the absolutely awful ice hockey commentary being a case in point. Sidney Crosby won the gold for "Canadia" apparently.

Most disturbing event? The double luge.

Most disturbing commentary? The double luge. "And the Austrian pair have got one hand and four fingers on the gold medal." Where is the other finger? On second thoughts, don't answer that ....

Curling gets waaaaay too much TV time.

The snowboard halfpipe was won by a ginger cocker spaniel.

Olympic fact: 95% of all snowboarders are called Nate.

Snowboard and skicross and short track speed skating are awesome to watch.

According to an ad that has just been on TV, 77% of all women feel sexier when their underarms look good. Who has ever even thought about that? And what is the purpose of such 'scientific' research? Advertising, it goes without saying, is the art of talking balls.

Films to go and see:
Invictus
Green Zone

Films to avoid:
Shutter Island
Alice In Wonderland

Talking to an 88 year old woman at work, she said that chatting with me was "more interesting than watching Poirot".
I misheard this as being more interesting than watching porno. Cue me asking her if she lived next door.

On 6th April, I will have had my real world, responsible job for 1 year. Who saw that one coming? Not me. Get a performance bonus - basically for showing up every day, occasionally on time - so thank you taxpayers! This should make up for the fact that our pay rise is 1% *rips Che Guevara beret from head in disgust*.

I was told in my appraisal that I had "so much potential" but that I was not willing to use it and that I was "hiding my light under a bushel". Why would I waste my "potential" on the British public? They are idiots.

Number of the day: 47
The number of days until I will be in New York City.
Dreaded number of the day: 72
The number of days until I will be flying back to Manchester from Miami.