Monday, 5 October 2009

What's Not To Hate?


I watched the X Factor last night and it infuriated me beyond measure.

For those not in the know, the X Factor is Simon Cowell's twist on American/Pop Idol.

There are 4 categories of singer: girls under 25, boys under 25, over 25s and groups.

Each category has a mentor [who is also one of the judges for the audition rounds] who advises them on song choice and other such stuff for the live shows the final 12 are involved in.

Leona Lewis won the X Factor, so it is quite the big deal.

Last night each category was down to the final 6 acts. The judges had to pick their final 3 acts to go through to the live finals.

In the groups category, there is a pair of Irish twins called John and Edward.

Their musical act is called, imaginatively, John and Edward.

It is no lie to say that I possess at least an equal amount of vocal ability as this gormless pair of arseclowns.

They were part of an ensemble in the audition rounds where they, a solo singer and another duo all had to collaborate on a performance of Apologize by, erm, that guy with the face. Yeah, him.

The truly awful shit starts approximately one minute into the video.

And the ending of the video? Awkward city.

'Where's my brother?'

At the bottom of a ravine in a hessian sack?
We all have dreams . . .

This is the performance that put them through to the final as one of the 12 most talented musical acts in the UK and Ireland.

Tell me why.

No, seriously, tell me why.

If Britney Spears ends up dating John or Edward, bitch is crazier than I first thought.

Ending on an unbelievably bad note?

Yep. And they started on one. And there were a few in the middle. And, yep, one at the end.

Is it any coincidence that the Irish mafia let them through, hmm?

Louis Walsh and Ronan Keating, shame on you.

I am out on Saturday night for some hardcore eating and drinking when the first live show is on and the public have the chance to vote for the first time.

I hope the great British public don't let me down and these two gobshites are shown the door.


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