Tuesday, 27 October 2009

A Question Of Sport

Photo actually taken by me during the recording. How illegal.

Something amazing happened last night.

No. Not that.

I went to watch an episode of A Question Of Sport being filmed in Manchester.

It was filmed at Granada Studios, home of Coronation Street.

A Question Of Sport is a quiz show where 2 teams of professional athletes face off against each other. The jewel in the BBC's sport based quiz show crown. The only jewel.

Pre-recording drinks were held in the motherjunking Rovers Return - for those unfamiliar with television soap opera Coronation Street, this is a big deal. Trust me.

In related Coronation Street news, 2 weeks ago I ate a meal literally half a metre away from Sir Ken Barlow. Probably the most boring soap opera character in history, but a national treasure nonetheless.

This is the most interesting thing Ken Barlow has ever done.

I was incredibly intoxicated and virtually shouted "Is that Ken Barlow?" when he was essentially sat on my lap. The shame.

He has a smashing head of hair though.

On the way to the QoS studio, we walked past the Countdown clock. [Richard Whiteley RIP]

My nerd core nearly imploded with the excitement.

True fact: my dad used to work with The Vorderman

I managed to make myself look like a prized tit in front of the entire studio audience.

It was mentioned that I had appeared on a TV quiz show in my murky past [true fact]. The guy with the microphone asked me: "How did you get on?"

My reply was that the quiz people had come to our school.

Of course, by how did you get on he actually meant, how did you do on the show.

Former England rugby player Matt Dawson and England cricketer Phil Tuffnell were both on fine form.

Host Sue Barker looked a lot less orange in real life. She had a new, more subtle, haircut which made her look a lot less like a Pomeranian than the one she has in the current series.

We were quite excited to see one of the guests was to be Matt Stevens. As in the England rugby player who was a little too friendly with Charlie. Ifyouseewhati'mimplyinginatotallyunlibellousfashion.

Apparently there is a Welsh snooker player also called Matt Stevens.

He looks like a less fun night out.

The other guests were a random gymnast, Newcastle goalie Shay Given and England cricketer Matthew Hoggard.

I am now firmly a Hoggard fan. He was by far the best guest.

I am considering getting his autobiography, which by all accounts is excellent, but it comes with a cover quote from noted dickhead Johnny Borrell from Razorlight. That may be a deal breaker.

And he walked right past me in the car park after the show. Brush with the Z List.

It will be interesting to see which parts are edited out. There were some times when the teams were trying to think of the answer and it literally took about 6 minutes. The show is only 30 minutes long.

It was a surprisingly slick recording and I am mondo intrigued as to how it will look on TV.

In mostly unrelated news, I have had most of my hair cut off and the bat costume I am wearing to work on Friday is still awesome.

Sunday, 18 October 2009

What The Hell Just Happened?

I have come to the conclusion that John and Edward are either comedy geniuses or genuinely deluded tone deaf cretins and I don't know which side I'm swinging towards at the moment.

The spoken word interlude a minute in is truly excruciating.

Wednesday, 7 October 2009

Merry Wednesday

Monday, 5 October 2009

What's Not To Hate?

I watched the X Factor last night and it infuriated me beyond measure.

For those not in the know, the X Factor is Simon Cowell's twist on American/Pop Idol.

There are 4 categories of singer: girls under 25, boys under 25, over 25s and groups.

Each category has a mentor [who is also one of the judges for the audition rounds] who advises them on song choice and other such stuff for the live shows the final 12 are involved in.

Leona Lewis won the X Factor, so it is quite the big deal.

Last night each category was down to the final 6 acts. The judges had to pick their final 3 acts to go through to the live finals.

In the groups category, there is a pair of Irish twins called John and Edward.

Their musical act is called, imaginatively, John and Edward.

It is no lie to say that I possess at least an equal amount of vocal ability as this gormless pair of arseclowns.

They were part of an ensemble in the audition rounds where they, a solo singer and another duo all had to collaborate on a performance of Apologize by, erm, that guy with the face. Yeah, him.

The truly awful shit starts approximately one minute into the video.

And the ending of the video? Awkward city.

'Where's my brother?'

At the bottom of a ravine in a hessian sack?
We all have dreams . . .

This is the performance that put them through to the final as one of the 12 most talented musical acts in the UK and Ireland.

Tell me why.

No, seriously, tell me why.

If Britney Spears ends up dating John or Edward, bitch is crazier than I first thought.

Ending on an unbelievably bad note?

Yep. And they started on one. And there were a few in the middle. And, yep, one at the end.

Is it any coincidence that the Irish mafia let them through, hmm?

Louis Walsh and Ronan Keating, shame on you.

I am out on Saturday night for some hardcore eating and drinking when the first live show is on and the public have the chance to vote for the first time.

I hope the great British public don't let me down and these two gobshites are shown the door.

Saturday, 3 October 2009

Question[s] Of The Week

As asked to me on Friday night by a 'restaurant' manager:

"Do you need a knife and fork to eat your hummus with? I don't know what hummus is. I have never seen it or heard of it before. Do you want ketchup with it?"

This disgrace to largely-chickpea-based dips everywhere occurred in Chicago Rock Cafe.

Which isn't in Chicago, isn't a cafe and doesn't play rock music.

Vodka is 99 English pennies before 10pm, though. And I got there at 5.