Thursday, 17 September 2009

Age Shall Not Weary Them

So, my grandad died.

And that was sad. Especially for my favouritest CBM.

But he was 86 and he is in a better place, wherever that may be.

And I can think of a few people he would be glad to see again.
I hope that he does see them.

I have inherited his HM Armed Forces veteran's badge.

My brother has his regimental patches - one for Normandy 1944 and the other his Royal Horse Artillery regimental patch - which he is thrilled with.

He gave his medals to another family member years ago, and that family member has lost them. What a fucking wanker.

He recently got a passport, which he never had the chance to use, after always saying that he would never get one because the last time he was abroad [i.e. fighting in WW2], 'they never asked to see my passport'.

One of the last things he said to my cousin, thinking she was me, was: "Jessica, have you got a job yet?"

And that makes me cry tears of laughter. Haha.

He was born in 1923. It boggles the mind to think how much the world has changed in such a relatively short period of time. No TV, no microwaves, Al Gore hadn't even dreamt of inventing the internet ...

And it is slightly depressing to think of what hasn't changed.

My grandad comes from a generation that I think we owe a great debt to. One that fought World War 2, not through choice, but because they were told that it was the right thing to do.

Even in death, there is humour.

And it comes to us, in this time of sorrow, in the form of a list.

This list was given to us by the bloody awful hippy vicar who will be conducting the funeral service next Wednesday.

It is a list of 'suitable' songs to be played in the church.

My suggestions of 'Light My Fire' by The Doors or 'Going Underground' by the Jam = not appropriate apparently.

Some of the suggestions include Albatross by the mighty Fleetwood Mac, Always by Bon Jovi and Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life by Monty Python.

I wonder if anyone at the church has actually watched the film that the Monty Python song appears in? Life Of Brian anyone? Essentially a 2 hour piss take of religion in general?

Another option is Annie's Song by John Denver - I approve of this choice. What a lovely song that is.

'Be Still For The Prescence Of The Lord'.

If the Lord were present, he would not approve of your spelling.

Or you could have Bilitis played at your funeral. The instrumental or the pan pipe version.

Bilitis sounds more like a cause of death to me ...

You could also have the theme to Black Beauty, Bridge Over Troubled Water or Bright Eyes by Art Garfunkel, or Candle In The Wind [Diana version]. The brackets are not my own addition.

One of the more 'out there' choices is China In Your Hands by T'Pau.

I am half expecting to turn the page and see Too Shy by Kajagoogoo or Karma Chameleon by Culture Club as options.

There are 2 Aerosmith options. The church loves that Steven Tyler.

There are some slightly wrong options - Endless Love by Ross and Richie, Everything I Do [I Do It For You] by Bryan Adams.

And a lot of Celine Dion, presumably for when they are burying child killers and rapists.

Not even Jesus loves Celine Dion.

We settled on that old chestnut My Way by Mr Sinatra and the more outre choice of Country Roads by John Denver - despite my grandad not being from, or ever having been to, West Virginia.

I plan on turning it into a sing-and-clap-along extravaganza.

CBM is still cranking out the one liners, even in mourning.

Today she referred to Bob, the family cat, as a 'pimp'.

We were walking into Chateau BM when I pointed out that there was a big bird sat on next door's roof.

CBM's reaction was: 'Woah! What is it? A vulture or a turkey?'

It was a pigeon.


Val said...

So sorry about the loss of your grandfather...he sounded like a great, funny man. Don't lose the patch, either...sometimes the small stuff we get from those who have passed on are the absolute best.

Country Roads and My Way - perfect songs...

EHisCDN said...

I'm sorry about your grandfather passing. My nana (who has Alzheimers) isn't doing very well either.

Jess said...

Thanks guys!

My mum and her twin have just called the gas and electric people to inform them that he had died and were struck by a giggling fit.

They were laughing hysterically and then my aunt said 'It's not funny really ...'

Which just set them off even more.

Jess said...

The exclamation mark in my previous comment looks a bit inappropriate now that I have typed it.


And now I am laughing at myself ...

Phina said...

What a stupid church. When Matthew died we played Python's The Knights of the Round Table, Korn, Pantera, Muse (of course), Ash, Blink 182, and Slipknot. And then CODYS sang Bohemian Rhapsody and headbanged. It was magical.