Saturday, 20 June 2009


Old School is in the DVD player.

We are drinking every time:

  • 'Here I Go Again' by Whitesnake is playing
  • Someone says 'Blue' or 'You're my boy Blue!'
  • Mitch has to be convinced to do something
  • Any time Darcy [Elisha Cuthbert] is mentioned
  • Any time Speaker City is mentioned
  • Any time the pledges are ordered to do something
  • Any time anyone goes streaking through the quad
  • Any time Jeremy Piven is a douche
  • Whenever Snoop Dogg shows up
  • Whenever anyone says 'earmuffs'
  • Any time anyone takes a drink
  • Any time there is any on screen nudity
  • Any time Mitch is called 'The Godfather'
  • Any time Frank The Tank is mentioned
  • Any time a breadmaker is exchanged as a gift

To shake things up, we are drinking champagne.

'Cos we are posh like that.

Edit #1: My boy blue is killing us. He may be the greatest character in this film though.' Just ring the bell you fucking pansy!'

Edit #2: Just eaten a Belgian chocolate tart from Marks & Spencer. Very chocolatey. Onto wine now - all the champers is gone. Boo. Will Ferrell has just set himself on fire.

Edit #3: Just been reminded of C in New York, New York saying that Jeremy Piven was a total douche in actual real life. Figures.

Zoolander is now in the DVD player. We are drinking whenever:

  • A look is performed - Blue Steel, Le Tigre, Ferrari, Magnum
  • Someone talks about how hot Hansel is
  • The prime minister of Malaysia is mentioned
  • Someone says 'good looking'
  • There is a celebrity cameo
  • Anytime Derek mispronounces a word
  • Someone says 'balls'
  • Someone mentions Derelicte
  • Every time 'Relax' plays
  • Every time Derek turns left
  • Every time the tragic gasoline accident is mentioned
  • Every time someone talks on a ridiculously tiny phone

It's the drinking game for kids who can't read good and do other stuff good too.

It's so hot right now.

Edit #4: Wake Me Up Before You Go Go sing-a-long. I fucking love Wham!

Edit #5: Everyone in the world should go and see The Hangover. I laughed like a drain. Especially at Carrot Top in the credits. What a dick. And Riley from the documentary National Treasure is in it too. Do it.

Edit #6: What is this? A school for ants? How can we teach kids if they can't even fit in the building? The centre needs to be at least ... 3 times bigger than this.

Edit #7: Is Mugatu's dog alive?!

Edit #8: I can dere-lick my own balls. Oh! Bowie is involved! And I have hiccups. Walk off!u

Edit #9: Is it cold out in space Bowie? Do you just have one funky sequined spacesuit or do you have several ch-ch-changes? Conchords reference.

Edit #10: I'm not an ambiturner - I can't turn left. I probably can't walk in a straight line at this point. And John Wilkes Booth is apparently the original model-slash-actor. FYI.

Edit #11: 21 days until Africa. Who's excited?!

Edit #12: Drunken honesty. Some people on Facebook are ridiculous. YouknowwhoImean.


I wish Maury Ballsteen were real. So real.

Message for Blake: if you are reading this, set a date for coming over to merry England. Jo told you that she was busy in kilt July, but August is fine. Do it.

138 days until Muse in Liverpool!

I am going to regret this in the morning. Still drinking though - 4 and a half hours later. Bought some of the world's greatest crisps before from M&S - salt and vinegar, hand cooked.

12 days until Warwick Camp 7 - castles, fireworks and Gershwin. Yay. Tony Handwank.


Phina said...

Drinking games are so hot right now.

You can read minds?

Jess said...

I'm bullimic.

Phina said...

I'm excited!

Jess said...

I am going to make an Africa playlist. It is going to be epic. All the classics will be on:
Africa by Toto
Free Nelson Mandela by The Specials
All of Gracelands by Paul Simon.

You can call me Al, Phina!

Phina said...

I will be your bodyguard, and you can be my long lost pal, Jeff

Jess said...

I can call you Betty, and Betty when you call me, you can call me Aaaaaal, call me Al!

Phina said...

Don't make me type the whole song. Because you know I can.

Jess said...

He ain't heavy, he's my brother ...

Phina said...

IKnowWhoYouMean! Cough.

Jess said...

IknowyouknowwhoImean. See the good in everyone, Flo. Fuck my life.

Phina said...

There's good?

Jess said...

Nope. Not in some people. Only selfishness and ridiculousness. I fear I have said too much! I have said too much. Damn me and my big mouth.

I'm going to adopt an orangutan baby.

And I'll thank you not to stare!

Blake said...

#1 - Champagne? I'm overwhelmed with the swank.

#2 - My thoughts turned to Piven's real life douche-like qualities simply by reading about you watching Old School

#3 - I need to book some travel. Post-kilt is the plan, now I just have to put it into action.

#4 - There is NO #4!

#5 - #4 was in honor of your Python-loving pop on Father's Day (I know it's not funny if you have to explain it).

#6 - "IF" I'm reading this? Where's the faith, Jess? How else do I keep up with the wit, wisdom, and class of the ladies of 184?

Jess said...

4 day old champagne no less - that's class right there!

We opened it for Vick's birthday on Tuesday and had about a mouthful each and re-corked it. It was still quite fizzy.

184 is the classiest joint in town. As you shall soon see!

Nicola said...

Receiving transmission from David Bowie's nipple antenna... and I fucking love Old School too! Watched that and Zoolander in Jo's "dorm" in Ohio when she discovered the shocking truth that I had seen neither.

Who has been ridiculous on facebook? And what's wrong with being ridiculous on facebook? I am always ridiculous on facebook!