Thursday, 14 May 2009

Poetry Corner


I was cleaning out my email inbox, because that's the kind of rock 'n roll shiznit I do late at night when sky high on prescription medication, and I found this little beaut.

This was sent to me on November 1 2005, so we probably all already know the punchline.

I need to delete more of my fucking emails.


GEOGRAPHY

THE GEOGRAPHY OF A WOMAN

Before the age of 16, a female is like North Korea.
Only a few weirdos want to go there and they end up in prison.

Between 18 and 20, a woman is like Africa.
Half discovered, half wild, naturally beautiful with fertile deltas.

Between 21 and 30, a woman is like America.
Well developed and open to trade, especially for someone with cash.

Between 31 and 35, she is like India.
Very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty.

Between 36 and 40, a woman is like France.
Gently aging but still a warm and desirable place to visit.

Between 41 and 50, she is like the former Yugoslavia.
Haunted by past mistakes and in need of massive reconstruction.

Between 51 and 60, she is like Russia.
Very wide, borders are unpatrolled and the frigid climate keeps people away.

Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Mongolia.
A glorious and all conquering past, but, alas, no future.

After 70, they become like Afghanistan.
Everyone knows where it is, but no one wants to go there.


THE GEOGRAPHY OF A MAN

Between 15 and 90, a man is like Zimbabwe.
Ruled by a dick.


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