Friday, 10 April 2009

What's In The Bag?

Labouring under the misguided notion that this blog is in anyway useful, worthwhile or interesting, I am going to plough on with my randomness regardless. As well as the arrogant thought that anyone is either reading or finding it in any way a pleasant experience. Moving on.

I have a gold bag. It is real leather - a rarity for me as I am too cheap to buy anything of 'quality' and can usually be found with the vegans in Primark amongst the pleathery goodness. It is from Accessorize. It was not in the sale. *Waits for the collective gasp to die down*. It is probably the most expensive bag I have ever bought.

I recently decided that I would have to sort out some of the junk in the bag as I may start using it for work. It revealed my packrat tendencies in all their glory. Very Mr Trebus.

Here is what was in the bag:

  • 3x Kings Of Leon tickets for the MEN Arena

  • Ear plugs [I think I got these on a plane]

  • An Air France moist towelette

  • 3D glasses

  • Sunglasses [Just what you need in the north, in winter]

  • The Mummy 3 cinema ticket

  • Journey To The Centre Of The Earth 3D cinema ticket

  • Superdrug receipt for hairgrips

  • 7-Eleven plastic bag [Bought in Stockholm for £1.50. One.Pound.Fifty]

  • Pirates Of The Caribbean 3 cinema ticket [I clearly have horrible taste in films. Note how there are no tickets from any of the arthouse/subtitled films I watch. They must be in my other bag. Cough.]

  • Umbrella

  • Ikea pencil [Warrington was the first place in the UK to get an Ikea. As told to me by Phina, via Stuart Maconie]

  • Pen stolen from the Holiday Inn, Cranberry Township, Pennsylvania

  • West Side Story ticket for The Lowry

  • Cinema ticket for High School Musical 3

  • The paper part of my driving licence [Good job I found this]

  • A straw

  • Hairbrush

  • Dark Knight IMAX ticket

  • 2x tickets for Twilight

  • New Look receipt for clothes worth £46 [2 tops, 1 dress]

  • Receipt from Borders, Wisconsin for New Moon, Eclipse, banana bread and an oatmeal raisin cookie

  • 5x tickets for McFly at the MEN Arena

  • Boots The Chemist receipt for hairspray and deodorant

  • Return train ticket from Manchester stations to Birchwood [£2.95 - why is it not that cheap on weekdays?!]

  • Air France headphones

  • Tissues

  • NWA sleeping mask [The airline, not Dr Dre's rap posse. Fuck tha police]

  • Padlock with keys on a Scooby Doo keyring [Slightly disturbing find]

  • 2GB Kodak SD card [Brand new]

  • 'Discover Alcatraz' guidebook

  • Panadol

  • Crossword book

  • No More Nails receipt [I bought this as a present for my mum. Seriously.]

  • USA visa waiver form which I managed to fuck up [I erroneously ticked yes when asked if I 'have ever been or are you now involved in espionage or sabotage; or in terrorist activites; or genocide; or between 1933 and 1945 were involved, in any way, in persecutions associated with Nazi Germany or its allies?' At least that's my story, and I'm sticking to it.]

  • Paper bag with all 50 US states written on it, with the ones I have visited ticked off

  • Piece of paper with 'J&J's first date was on May 12 2004 at Lollipop's Ice Cream Parlor in Athens, Ohio' written on it

  • 2x black Bic biros

  • Ticket for The Glass Menagerie at the Royal Exchange theatre [Starring National Treasure Brenda Blethyn as Mrs Wingfield]

  • An emergency contact form for an NWA flight from Boston to Amsterdam [Blank]

  • Hair bobble

  • Pack of cards

  • Home Office leaflet on the rules surrounding passport photographs

  • Ticket to the NPower 2nd Test Match. England v New Zealand, Old Trafford Cricket Ground, Saturday May 24th 2008 [The infamous day. I was so hungover, I couldn't drink all day. Some obnoxious boys sat in front of us and then revealed that they were from the same place we are. John Tickle from Big Brother was there. So was a man dressed as a giant sperm. I got so sunburned, I still have the tan lines and the faint sunglasses suntan. And I had to go to J's wedding the next day and ruined all the photos by being bright red and hot to the touch]

  • Laminate for Chester Races Midsummer Meeting, County Concourse, 28th June 2008. 'Dress code: Gentlemen are required to wear a suit jacket, collar and tie. No denim or trainers' [The other infamous day. I managed to fall asleep in a bar for more than an hour. Directly below a speaker]

  • Ticket for 'This Is Cinerama' at the National Media Museum, Bradford [From the cinematic sublime to the ridiculous, all in one bag. The only time I have ever willingly been to Bradford *vomits*]

  • Ticket for The Tempest at the Royal Exchange theatre [Starring Padgate Pete Postlethwaite as Prospero. The next time I see him walking down Padgate Lane, I am going to congratulate him on his performance.]

  • Betting slip for £2 on number 8, Little Pete, to win [He didn't. Could this bag paint a classier picture of me?!]

  • Receipt from TGI Fridays at the Trafford Centre for 1x Sam Adams and 1x strawberry daiquiri [How dare those terrorists plot to bomb the Trafford Centre! And the Birdcage! What have hardcore terrorists got against men in drag?!]

  • Receipt for M&S sea salt and balsamic vinegar hand cooked crisps [The best crisps in the world]

  • 1x ticket for The Farnsworth Invention at the Music Box Theatre, New York City for Friday November 2nd 2007 [Starring Hank Azaria]

  • A carte du site 2007 of Six Flags LaRonde [So what did you do whilst in cultural Montreal? Er, I went to Six Flags. And a middle aged woman walked up to me and pinched my arse. True, somewhat disturbing, story. Featuring rides I went on including Vampire, Cobra, Goliath: Le Geant des Montagnes Russes, Monstre, Super Manege and Boomerang]

  • A boarding pass for Air Canada flight 1173 Toronto to Calgary on the 22nd August 2007

  • An Air Canada delayed baggage card from Air Canada flight 1173

The bag is not even that big. I never took the bag to Sweden or America or Canada. How did all that stuff get in there? Bag poltergeist? I should really start throwing things away.


ali said...

Cranberry Township, Pennsylvania???

You were getting closer to my neck of the woods...

The US visa thing is hilarious -- I guess, as an American -- I'll never get to read one of those things, but that's a very interesting thing they have on there... hahaha...

Jessclub7 said...

Ali, I am so intrigued as to what is on the GB one.

You will have to tell me if you come over here :)