Thursday, 12 February 2009

♥ Things I Would Rather Do Than Celebrate Valentine's Day ♥

  1. Be locked in a room for all eternity with only a copy of 'P.S. I Love You' for company

  2. Find that my interior monologue had been replaced by Bono's

  3. Wake up to find that I had travelled back in time and was now The Elephant Man, John Merrick

  4. Work as Naomi Campbell's maid

  5. Be adopted by Michael Jackson

  6. Join a gym

  7. Watch Adam Sandler's entire body of 'work'

  8. Have a radio that could only pick up Jo Whiley

  9. Touch a live fish

  10. Have every single news bulletin for the rest of eternity read by Natasha Kaplinsky - if any newsperson deserves to be covering cat fashion shows, Anchorman-style, it is she

  11. Read a book written entirely in textspeak - OMGZ LOL HOTT !!!11!!!1!!

  12. Watch Pete Doherty perform live

  13. Legally change my name so that it was spelt Jhessyka or some other unconventional monstrosity

  14. Listen to Nickelback's entire back catalogue

  15. Become a Scientologist

  16. Have another dream in which I was marrying The Leprechaun (Gaz, I hold you fully responsible for this!)

  17. Do another law degree

  18. Watch nothing but ITV1 for the rest of my natural life

  19. Hack all my limbs off

  20. Be in McCormack's drama class again

  21. Pick the winnning lottery numbers only to realise I had forgotten to buy a ticket

  22. Appear on Maury Povich admitting that I had 75 potential babydaddys

  23. Give Hallmark Greetings PLC all of my money - BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT YOU FUCKING WANT, ISN'T IT?! *Exhales*

  24. Attend J's sure-to-be-fantabulous 21st :)

This is a lovely song though:

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