Friday, 6 February 2009

Look Who I Share A Birthday With ...

Yep. It's American 'adult' actress Hillary Scott. The things Wikipedia leads you to. It is the gateway drug of the internet.

According to the oracle Wikipedia, she first became interested in pornography at the age of 11 when she got cable TV in her bedroom. I don't think I knew what pornography was when I was 11.

She worked in a bank selling mortgages for two and a half years before becoming 'bored'.

She appeared on the Howard Stern spoof show 'Inside The Porn Actors Studio' - which actually sounds a lot more interesting than the pretentious gubbins hosted by major league tosser James Lipton.

Her vital statistics are, and I quote, '34C-26-36 (34B before implants)'. And she has an eye-watering '420+' films to her, erm, credit.

If easily offended, do not read on.

Some of her films include:
  • Straight To The Sphincter 2 (!)
  • Good Girls Gone Black
  • Anal Nitrate (Nice pun)
  • North Pole 60 (60?!)
  • Neo Pornographia (I like to think this was an attempt to go arthouse - I'm thinking monochrome and subtitles. Possibly whilst wearing a beret)
  • Mad At Daddy 2 (That just sounds disturbing)
  • Lethal Injections 3
  • Jessica's Jet Set (I am not in this)
  • I Can't Believe I Took The Whole Thing 4 (You think she would believe it after the fourth time)
  • A Good Source Of Iron 5 (Spinach? Steak?)
  • Down The Hatch 15
  • Destroy The World (That may be the funniest - how random)
  • Chocolate Melts In Your Mouth And In Your Hand (M&M reference)
  • Almost Virgins (Hahahahaha!)
  • Britney Rears 2: I Wanna Get Laid
  • Prying Open My Third Eye (Dear God!)
  • I Pervert (Probably better than I Robot)
  • The Female Gardener (I have literally no idea what that title is referring to)
  • Face Invaders (I don't remember playing that in the 80s)
  • The Apprentass (You're fired!)
  • Hillary For President
  • iTouch Myself (Up to date with modern technology)

But Ms Scott is not just a star. She also directs. These may be 3 of the least obvious pornographic films ever made. But she's made 'em.

  • Anal Princess Diaries 1 AND 2
  • Extreme Asshole Makeover

What kind of animal do you have to be to have watched 'The Princess Diaries' and thought, 'You know what this could do with? Some hardcore sex!'?

As for Extreme Makeover, I like to think that that is the Home Edition and it features Ty giving a kid-with-ADHD-hopped-up-on-sugar blow-by-blow (!) running commentary.


mer said...

the female gardener may be referring to The Constant Gardener... if it is, that's just creepy.

Jessclub7 said...

Of course Mer! Dodgy drug company in Africa + porn = a likely, and logical, combination!