Sunday, 1 March 2009

Cocktails + Jehovah's Witnesses = My Saturday Night

Firstly, mum's night was a big success at the Musee d'Gorsey. My spinach and mushroom lasagne was delicious, if I do say so myself. And I do.
I kind of ruined the cheese sauce for the meat lasagne but I didn't have to eat that so I'm not bothered!

Using our patented red wine rolling pin to roll out the pastry for the pear dessert.

Thumbs up to pears! For some reason the 'thumbs up' makes me crack up lately. I don't know why I think it's hilarious. It just is.

Pear in pastry with chocolate sauce, ice cream and spun sugar. This photo doesn't make it look particularly delicious.

The mum's stayed out way past their bed time - 'twas after 12 when we got home. I always thought CBM would turn into a pumpkin if she stayed out past midnight. I thought wrong.

I then fulfilled my role as Ticket Master and got us some McFly tickets. I have started saving bail money for Phina for the inevitable Danny sexual assault arrest. I am thinking of making a sign which says 'Danny Unzip Your McFly'. I am 26 years old.

And I lost my debit card. What a pain in the ballsack.

Saturday night meant the most convoluted route to Panama Hatty's ever. It also meant strawberry and raspberry daiquiris. They went down very nicely indeed. It also meant a certain someone who is meant to be budgeting and who said 'promise me you won't let me buy anymore clothes' was trying to justify the purchase of a new dress and a pair of shoes AND boots. And probably other stuff which I wasn't listening to.

I was in a pretty bad mood at the start of the evening because my brother got in the bath before I needed to go out and then my dad got in after him (I was at home to use the Internet) so I had 20 minutes in which to wash and dry my hair etc, etc. My dad wasn't even going out. He was staying in. And my brother didn't even run his own bath. It is a good job that we have quite strict gun laws in England because if we didn't I would still be being talked down from the roof with the rifle. He didn't even run his own bath!

Daiquiris lessened the pain and familial dysfunction.

Look at the cute cactus (or should that be cacti?!) glasses our margaritas came in! I was going to steal them - and I totally would have gotten away with it too - but I didn't have a bag big enough to stash them in. Damn.

What a moody pic. It reflects the deep conversations we were having. Cough.

Cosmopolitans at the Cornerhouse. We sat near some creepy goat paintings which were quite disturbing.

The evening took a turn for the surreal in the 5 minute walk from King Street to the Cornerhouse. A woman approached us and asked if we minded if she asked us some questions. We didn't object so she launched into her spiel in the middle of the road and inbetween about 5 pubs. She asked us what we would think if we lived in a world which was perfect - we were in a state of 'perfect youth and perfect health'.

I was the first to respond and said that I would probably find that quite boring and used the clumsy analogy that "if it was Christmas every day then Christmas wouldn't mean anything would it?" She didn't seem impressed by this. She then asked me what type of Creator had created the brain. My answer was that biology had created the brain. I then told her in response to a follow up question that I didn't believe in any type of Creator at all. She didn't ask me any more questions.

She latched onto the fact that Phina stated she was a practising Christian and talked to her for a bit. Then she told us that Armageddon was 'coming very soon' because the Apostle Paul had said so. Phina then stated that she didn't think that all parts of the Bible should be interpreted literally. I wanted to ask her exactly when Armageddon would be arriving but didn't particularly want to open up that can of worms in the middle of the road and on a Saturday night.

She looked quite pointedly at me when she said that the 'wicked' would be wiped off the earth and the 144,000 most righteous would go to Heaven. Surely there are more than 144,000 Jehovah's Witnesses in the world? If not, I must be beating pretty spectacular odds by having them knock at my door every other week. And if being a Jehovah's Witness does not guarantee me entry to this theoretical paradise, then why should I bother becoming one?

The woman then handed Phina and Chan a leaflet. I didn't get a leaflet.

Chan's booklet tells us that all suffering is going to end 'SOON!' Then we can all hang out with some moose and a basket of plums.

Phina's leaflet asked me if my soul was immortal. I misread this as being 'immoral'. And I answered that yes, it was. The first sentence also had a pretty clanging grammatical error - using the word 'millenniums' as a plural of 'millennium'. If you are going to try and convert me, at least proofread your agitprop.

I personally have no religious beliefs, but other people are free to believe whatever they wish. And the Jehovah woman seemed perfectly happy to believe in everything that she told us would happen. Good for her. Maybe try it on less drunk people next time, love?

EDIT: The plums may be apples and I have found my debit card! It was in my dressing gown pocket. Strange that I didn't find it earlier considering the amount of time I spend wearing said gown. Hmm.

No comments: