Monday, 9 February 2009

CAKE & The 4 Other Food Groups

Wednesday was birthday day. Hence the hil-a-rious candle arrangement and the feast of dips and the Tesco own brand pink champagne - first purchased over a year ago for someone else's birthday.

'Shall we put the dips actually in the chip and dip tray?' 'Nah, it's more washing up innit?'

Thursday is a day of the week with a 'y' in it, hence more booze. And some chocolate cornflake things from M&S. Mmmm.

Getting wine woozy on a school night. Rebels.

Top tip: Don't read the last chapter of a book you have been trying to finish for 18 months whilst drunk. You will only have to re-read it in the morning. If you still have the power of vision.

Friday must be Wii night. It was also jelly night. The jelly was not setting and had to spend time in the freezer. Maybe a little too much time - as evidenced by the crust of ice forming on the top.

It was very much Pimms o'clock. In fact, it stayed Pimms o'clock for about six hours. Recognise the jug K?!

American Drinking Phrases Which Sound Like Deviant Sexual Acts: Double Fisting. Apparently, this involves having 2 drinks on the go at the same time - one in each hand. I remain unconvinced.

I also enjoyed wearing my mouse slippers.

And the jelly turned out all right in the end with the help of some squirty cream and hundreds and thousands. (Why the fuck are they actually called that?!)

Here you can see what happens when you cannot operate a digital camera. Chan clearly didn't want to do any karaoke. And you can also hear me offer to sing 'I Want You Back' by the Jackson 5 with anyone who wants to do that.

That was not a good idea. As anyone with ears can imagine.

Saturday was Six Nations Day. Hence the drinking started early - at 3pm.

England beat Italy 36-11. Good times. My irrational hatred of Danny Cipriani and Lawrence Dallaglio surfaced regularly. And they weren't even playing. Dicks.

It was soon Nacho Time. And a song was made up - 'Nacho Man' - to the tune of 'Macho Man' by the Village People. You can never have too many nachos. Or be too gay.

I also got to wear gold shoes. A day involving gold shoes is A Good Day.

At 12 at night, we decided to take the drinking to a bar rather than just the living room. This involved many a pervy man - most of them wearing wedding rings. WTF?

This was the anthem of the evening - air drumming at 3am. Great song, set-yourself-on-fire awful video.

On Sunday, I took a trip to Willowpool where I ate some giant pancakes filled with cheese and spinach. See fork strategically placed for scale of epic pancakeyness.

And I ate a Cream Delight. By myself. In birthday week, food has no calories, alright?! Jesus.

Then the week ended with us going to watch Bolt 3D. Rhino The Hamster may be my new hero - "I'll get my ball".

And I had my picture taken wearing my 3D glasses (I'm not Stevie Wonder in *real* life)


mer said...

Mer's Four Food Groups
1. Wine
2. Fructose & Sucrose
3. Macaroni & Cheese
4. Brown

*brown = chocolate, beer, potato, gravy, meat, bread, and anything fried. literally, anything Brown.

I have my old man to thanks for this brilliant food-group classification and, by extension, 'some bloke in Liverpool' - my father's words, not mine. My father is not British, so when he says bloke, it's because he's trying to prove he's cool (sigh) because he lived in Britain in 1977 or 1978 and saw Dire Straits before they were famous and pretends to be blasé about having seen The Sex Pistols...

Jessclub7 said...

My dad thinks he is so 'down with the kids' it is cringe making.

He nonchalantly will say things like 'Oh, is this Radiohead?' when we have the radio on - and I know that he has been frantically researching the 'young people's music' and he'll try and sing along.

I recently made a whole load of CDs for a road trip - on one of them was 'Romeo & Juliet' by Dire Straits. Stone cold classic.

My five food groups appear to be: cake, other desserts, wine, vodka, mixed drinks