Tuesday, 3 February 2009

1983 = Vintage Year

Yes, the year of my birth.

What a year. MCMLXXXIII. Year of the Boar (or the ‘Bore’, in my case). Year 2527 on the Buddhist calendar. And 1975 in Ethiopia. No, really.

Some interesting stuff happened way back then:

  • The musical Annie was performed for the last time on Broadway. Don’t worry, the sun will come out tomorrow.

  • Apple released its first PC.

  • Giovanni Vigliotto went on trial charged with 104 counts of bigamy. He would convince women that he lived far away from them and would ask them to move to be with him. He would then help them pack up their house into a moving van and say that he would make a head start and would call them later. He would drive away and disappear into the sunset with all their stuff and sell it at flea markets. What a man!

  • Disneyland Tokyo opened.

  • The £1 coin introduced

  • On Coronation Street, Deidre breaks up with Mike Baldwin and returns to Ken Barlow. Deidre’s best husband was clearly the tragic Samir. Free the Weatherfield One!

  • Stern magazine published ‘The Hitler Diaries’. Poor, misguided Stern.

  • Margaret Thatcher elected for a second time. WHY?! Because of this we have had to pay for our university education. Bitch!

  • The Nintendo Entertainment System goes on sale. Many hours of childhood spent playing Duck Hunt, Mario & Bubble Bobble follow.

  • Microsoft Word first released. And that fucking paperclip has been pissing people off ever since.

  • Michael Jackson’s ‘Thriller’ video is first broadcast. If only we knew then what we know now.

  • McDonald’s introduces the McNugget.

    • Notable births include:

    • Taylor Hanson. Lead singer of hairy family band Hanson – whom everyone’s brother thought was hot until they were told he was a boy.

    • Lee Ryan. Lead singer of Blue and good value for money on Never Mind The Buzzcocks. Most fondly recalled for his views on 9/11: “Who gives a fuck about New York when elephants are being killed? What about whales?"

    • Cheryl Cole. From out of Girls Aloud. She’s so hot right now she even makes her conviction for racially aggravated assault look sexy.

    • Luke McAlister . All Black rugby player. Minor obsession.

    • Mika. Freddie Mercury impersonator.

    • Amy Winehouse. Professional mess.

    • Nicky Hilton. Even more pointless Hilton sister.

      • Notable deaths:

      • Karen Carpenter

      • Tennessee Williams

      • Ira Gershwin

        • At the cinema:

        • Return Of The Jedi

        • Terms Of Endearment *vomits*

        • Flashdance. What a feeling.

        • Trading Places. Early pre-fat suit work.

        • Mr Mom. Sweet Jesus.

        • Risky Business. Tom Cruise before the insanity and the couch.

          1. On the turntable and in the tape deck (and all on my ipod – Sting shame!):

          2. Billie Jean – Michael Jackson

          3. Flashdance (What A Feeling) – Irene Cara

          4. Let’s Dance – David Bowie

          5. Every Breath You Take – Sting

          6. Karma Chameleon – Culture Club

            • Things that happened on February 3rd – my actual birthday day:

            • Buddy Holly killed in a plane crash in Iowa. The day the music died. And Lou Diamond Phillips’ career began. La Bamba, anyone?

            • Gertrude Stein born

            • Norman Rockwell born

            • The Texas Tornado born (having a brother obsessed with WWF as a child has just caused me to laugh out loud at this – less funny is the fact that he is now dead. Are there any wrestlers, other than Hulk Hogan, left alive?!)

            • Warwick Davis born – legendary performance in Willow. My favourite performance of his, though, is as the Leprechaun in the film of the same name, back when Jennifer Aniston had her old nose.

                • I have just Youtubed Leprechaun and found a clip from Leprechaun 5: In The Hood. The leprechaun does a rap in some kind of strip club and has developed an English accent. WTF? I literally have no words for this!

                • Pope JP 2 meets Mother Theresa in Calcutta. If only Diana had been there too …

                • Phil Spector and his fright wig arrested for shooting a woman in the face

                My birthday haul, in no particular order:

              • Shiny new ipod to replace the one I have now which has a screen that you can’t read and which randomly turns itself on, causing Wham!’s ‘Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go’ and other such, ahem, classics, to blare out of my bag at the most inopportune moment

              • ‘The Host’ by Stephenie Meyer. Twilight addiction writ large.

              • ‘Revolutionary Road’ by Richard Yates – with non film adaptation cover, thank you very much. Snobbery in action!

              • ‘Kavalier & Klay’ by Michael Chabon

              • Guys & Dolls DVD

              • A screwdriver with 9 (count 'em) interchangeable heads. 'For the new house'. Thanks Mum. Honest.

                Gaz said...

                Trying not to sound really weird - i have all 5 leprechaun films on dvd. You can lend them if you want. No. 4 is in space!!

                Vic will love them too. Honest.

                Jessclub7 said...

                Gaz, why have you never mentioned this before?!

                Does the leprechaun become more English sounding or is it just my cloth ears?

                And how can you ever be too weird? This is me you're talking to!

                Gaz said...

                He changes in and out of English a lot. A point of interest - in the UK the second one was called one wedding and lots of funerals! Class.

                What was her nose all about? Haha.