Friday, 30 January 2009

Things I Wish I Could Be Bothered To Care About

1. The Environment
I just cannot be bothered to care about the planet. I am considering taking up eating beef after 15 years of meat free existence just because beef production is the most environmentally damaging thing you can do.

Am I going to stop flying? Hell no! Am I going to use public transport more? The people tend to be drunk and/or crazy and incredibly vocal and since coming back from Sweden I only have the one kidney now. Am I going to take up bike riding? No. Too much like exercise.

Though it should be noted that at 184, I am the only one with an energy saving light bulb. Unfortunately, this means I have to switch my light on 3 days in advance. Night vision goggles would be more use. I also reuse plastic bags and recycle my many empty bottles. My work here is done.

2. The Middle East
I really don't understand what is going on there. I don't think anyone does. Not even Newsround can make this situation seem any less of the gigantic clusterfuck it actually is.

3. Robert Mugabe
I know that he is a Bad Man and that bread costs a trillion squillion Zimbabwean dollars. I know that Mugabe is one of the few people still willing to commit to the Hitler moustache. That is all I know.

4. Poetry
What is the point? Getting to wear a beret makes it seem slightly more fun, but it really is pretentious garbage innit?!

5. The Future
Yeah, I should probably have a life plan. I should probably have a good job by now. I should probably have any job by now. I should probably have made some progress towards behaving like an adult by now. I should probably not spend so much of my time imagining what it would be like to be able to read minds or trying to think up The Ultimate Sandwich.

6. People Other Than Myself


mer said...

the middle east made no sense until i read A History of the Modern Middle East by William Cleveland. i still have no fucking clue how solve the clusterfuckitude of the place, but at least i know WHY it's so fucked.

mer said...

oh, and thanks for the Geordie thing. i'd acutally only ever heard it when i was in scotland and never seen it written. i'm AR enough to be pissed I got it wrong though...

Jessclub7 said...

I am placing the Middle East (Israel/Gaza, Iraq, Afghanistan, Iran and whatever other situation has exploded since I started typing this sentence) into the Pandora's Box I have marked The Balkans and Northern Ireland.

I still don't have any clue about those situations despite studying them for 2 years and having a ton of relatives from Northern Ireland and living in a town which was bombed by the IRA!

It was probably the fault of the British somewhere along the line though. Oops.

mer said...

israel was/is. can we add Somalia to Pardora's box?

(coincidentally I live on Pandora Street. honestly. the only scary thing here is the pub across the street, and only when the scary hoochies from the university come down and prevent me from watching San Jose cream the Nucks)

Joanna said...

Jessica, you don't wish you could be bothered to care about these things at all. You are quite content to not be bothered at all. Don't lie to us, or most importantly, to yourself