Saturday, 31 January 2009

How Do You Make A Cat Go Woof?

Things that have made me happy this week:

1. Noah & The Whale - 5 Years Time.
There is nothing wrong with a world in which this song exists.


2. That my spurious (unless you are from the insurance company, in which case, TOTALLY GENUINE) insurance claim was accepted no questions asked. Nothing like a little white collar crime to start off the week. Alledgedly. To think I am a semi-qualified lawyer.

3. The woman on Maury Povich who was named Ricktoria.
What. A. Name. The fact that her boyfriend was trying to impregnate her mother made me a bit less happy. What is wrong with people?! And why do I enjoy watching it so much?!

4. Come Dine With Me & Masterchef
TV Gold. Especially the episode with the 3rd Chuckle Brother which nearly ended in a fistfight. Also, what the Christ was that woman's accent?! And need I say more than pork chop surprise? I need not. Though I clearly just did.


5. Mer commenting on my little nerd blog.
Considering I have only told literally 2 people about this (and that they are fully aware of my misanthropic nature) to have someone from outside those 2 comment puts a smile on my face and warms my blackened little heart!

6. The thought of making a jelly for Birthday Week.
I am thinking traffic light. I am thinking possibly in a mould. I am thinking too much about jelly.

7. CBM admitting to having eaten 2 Krispy Kreme donuts. Before upping the ante to 3 and eventually settling on 5.

8. Phina talking about the conspiracy theory surrounding early 20th Century nanny killer and famous missing person, Lord Byron. And the poet Lord Lucan.

9. Being reminded of the 'Emergency Pull Off Zone' on the Pennsylvania Turnpike between Pittsburgh and Philadelphia. Nothing like a good innuendo.

10. Slumdog Millionaire


11. The T-Mobile flashmob dancing ad. Specifically the face of the old woman when 'Do Ya Love Me?' comes on - she's really enjoying herself!


12. The Daily (Hate) Mail headline: 'More People Could Go Blind As Credit Crunch Causes People To Avoid Eye Tests'. If you didn't laugh, you'd cry.


Things that I am indifferent to:

1. Turning 21. Again.


Things that I most definitely did not enjoy:

1. Bob The Cat putting his entire tail in the fire and making the living room stink of burnt cat hair. CBM then spraying furniture polish all around the room thinking that it was air freshener. Mr Sheen + burnt cat hair = how I imagine Pete Doherty smells.

5 comments:

mer said...

you did it again, damn it. it's 6 in the morning and i'm roaring with laughter over the emergency pull off zone thing. almost as good as the "speed humps" road sign my friend stole in high school.

gazjames127 said...

Riktoria - I saw that one and pissed myself! If I was 'Rik' I'd be more pissed off at the sheer abomination of a name I was given.

Maybe it's a pre cursor to Rick Rolling?!

Jessclub7 said...

Gaz, I thought I was hearing things. I actually did a double take when the caption came on screen. Truly amazing. Unemployment is the gift that keeps on giving.

Under things which make me unhappy, I can't believe I forgot ginger chocolate!

And Mer, I once did a presentation in front of about 50 people and was asked to rate someone's employability on a scale of one to ten.

I loudly stated that: 'I'd give him one!'

I just had to abandon the whole thing as I was in tears of laughter once I realised what I had actually just said

francesrachelhilarydixon said...

Jelly should be included within every birthday celebration by law. I am currently trying to figure out how to easily make jelly with tinned mandarins in where the orange bits are all evenly spaced throughout the jelly. For a relative.

(Hello by the way, apparently someone else puts their job as 'loser' too)

For some amazing ginger chocolate try Montezuma's. (http://www.montezumas.co.uk/search/showitem.asp?q=ginger&r=&g=&i=834&pg=1) or (http://www.montezumas.co.uk/search/showitem.asp?q=ginger&r=&g=&i=830&pg=1)

Jessclub7 said...

My main jelly question is booze or no booze?

I feel that vodka jelly may ruin the kid's party vibe of the traffic light jelly.

But any day with a 'y' in it is a day for vodka.

It's quite the dilemma.